By Amara Charles
There is a secret to gathering Yin Essence.
What is Yin Essence? While it’s invisible, illusive and impossible to contrive, everyone has felt it. It lives in the smile of a young child, it breathes when you lie back to absorb the blue sky. It happens when you laugh, it appears when you weep, you see it flash in people’s eyes.
Without the mysterious activity, of yin essence, life is inexplicably dreary. You could say it’s an unknown force that can pull you out of bed no matter how bad it seems.
Is it Real? Does it really exist?
What matters is that it seems to exist. It is far better to imagine there is some sort of nourishing essence (let’s call it Yin Nectar for a moment) sustaining you. Why? Watch what you attract when you forget to smile, drink a little yin nectar, make love, laugh, hug someone or purely give. Every time you do one of these things, you get an infusion; a whiff of yin essence to lift your spirit, even if you’ve never heard of it. Notice how deflated your spirit becomes chasing thoughts of doom. Here’s a great description from ‘Anna’s Book,’ one of my favorite collections of stories told by a young girl who was rescued from the London slums by her friend Fynn.
Fin say if you live in a house and you let the window get sploshed and dirty and if you look out of the window it look like the world is dirty bit it is not. If you look inside it look dirty too but it is not dirty because the window is dirty.
Fin say all of the people have two windows. First people have got eye window and then a hart window. The eye window is to look out and the hart window is to see inside to see you. Fin say wen you cry it is for to wash the window so you can see better.
One day I ask Fin for som sweet and Fin say no and I was sad and I cry some ters and I cry som ters to wash my eye window because my eye window was all dirty, dirty greedy for sweets. And Fin did not say nothing and Fin piket me up and put me to a luking glas to see my face reflechun and it was al funy like rain on a hous window. And I could not see proper and then I stop the cry and see Fin face reflechun and it was al smilig. And so I smile too and then I see my eye sparkling because I can see good. And then I see that Fin say no, becas he have got no mony, because he give it all to Missis Barkr to buy som penuts to sell to get som mony to buy som food and I did not see good because I have got dirty eye window and it was all sploshy with greedy dirty.”
Seeing Through Sploshy Windows
Annal saw it well. You see, the reason our innocent yin energy slips away is because we have sploshy windows and we can’t see the truth. We get greedy dirty eye windows, one looking inside us, the other looking out, and as Anna says, we can’t see right. The good news is, it is not the truth, it’s only a dirty window.
We forget this a thousand times a day. Perhaps it’s the reason why in Buddhist, Taoist and other religious traditions, prayers, mantras or scriptures are spoken daily, sometimes several times a day. It is incredibly easy to forget how to feel innocent, relaxed and open. We need constant reminders to see the truth of our beauty.
Catching The Robber
Our bodies are neither beautiful or ugly, sex is not dirty or clean, difficult or easy to get; yet how often do we let these kinds of thoughts and judgments interfere with beautiful moments we could share with someone? How often are we putting our selves and others down, pouting for what we want, while really looking through dirty windows? In other words, how much are we making up?
We are especially prone to these kinds of false thoughts, especially about our bodies. I recently lost twenty pounds. I have to say, sex was good when I had the extra twenty, but it was just as good after they were gone, no two ways about it. Actually, in terms of how fabulous I felt, there was no difference at all. Somehow though, we get to thinking that if we could just change something about our body, we would feel more beautiful. I assure you, however, the beauty of Yin essence is not measured in pounds.
Turning Weakness Into Strength
This being said, if you would like to change something changeable in your body, it is your Yin essence that is going to give you the will to do it. It is true that many women feel better and sexier when they are lighter. There’s no question, gliding across a room, catching a few guys sneaking a peek, is a lot more fun than lumbering around, covering up what we can. It’s just that, if you lose your yummy yin on the way, what’s the point? The truth is, you are going to need the unlimited power of your yummy yin to make whatever changes you want. And in the end, you are going to see that it’s your Yin Essence that does all the attracting anyway.
Remember, Yin is the persevering, resilient, persistent part of our nature – not the nagging, complaining part that can’t stand the way we look.
While we often let the inner nag reign free by endlessly comparing, and cutting ourselves down, it is actually our open and relaxed yummy yin essence that can become much stronger… if only you will allow it.
While it’s true I generally feel lighter now, after losing a lot of weight, I realized most other people were not thinking about me the way I saw myself, and if they did, what on earth were the thoughts I think they were thinking doing in my head? The truth is, we think people are thinking about us a lot more than they actually are. The reality is, they are likely thinking about themselves, just like you are.
Things like losing weight, or any of the achievements we’d like to accomplish, are only important, or lasting, if some other changes go with them. Namely, watch out for the false thoughts, the dirty windows looking in and all the things you make up that people think about you.
We cry about things like Anna, waste tons of energy thinking about what we think we can’t have, what we no longer look like, or what we think we will lose. Eventually, we find that the things we convince ourselves into believing, are not even real and have nothing to do with the genuine story.
Amara Charles is the founder of Nourishing Arts, a healing center providing training courses in the spiritual sexual arts. Author of Sexual Agreements, Aching to Open and Erotic Touch for Two, Amara has been teaching spiritual sexuality workshops throughout the US, Australia, Malaysia and New Zealand since 1987. Her programs include Taoist White Tigress, Shamanic Quodoushka Sexuality and the Yin Yang of Sexual Restoration. She also hosts Men’s Sex Forums promoting better, healthier sex. She has been a special guest on BBC and ABC Radio shows and a guest lecturer at Arizona State University. She writes articles on sexuality for a variety of publications.
Offering Retreats and Private Sexuality Training for Women, Men and Couples
Amara is presenting The Jade Maiden Workshop, Dec 6 -7, 2008 in Los Angeles with Shyena Hsien Shen and Fay McGrew. It is a 2-Day Woman’s Retreat celebrating Feminine Vitality, and clearing up confusions around men. Presenting workshops, private sessions and trainings throughout the world since 1989, Amara is the founder of Nourishing Arts, a spiritual sexuality center dedicated to the preservation and continuance of the Taoist Sexual Arts. She is the first White Tigress initiated on Western soil.
3741 East Shangri La Rd.
Phoenix, AZ 85028